jeudi, juillet 7

Horoscopes for week of July 7, 2005

LIBRA
Seven years ago, Random House announced its "Modern Library 100 Best Books of the 20th Century: Fiction." In this collection, 91 texts were written in English by white males. I suppose there's a remote possibility that's an accurate inventory, though I doubt it. But whether it is or not, I feel it's critical to the health of our culture and even our planet that the best books of the 21st century will be authored by a far more diverse mix. And what, you may ask, does this have to do with your personal destiny in July 2005? The astrological omens say it's a perfect moment to decide what you'll do in the coming years to contribute to a world in which white men who speak English don't run everything. (P.S. This is crucial even if you yourself are an English-speaking white man.)

+ Discordianism is one of the rare religions that takes account of Ralph Abraham’s assertion that heart physiologists find more chaos in the healthy heart than in the sick heart. Here’s a sampling of Discordian tenets. 1. Everyone is a saint, especially you. 2. Meditation consists primarily of cruising around looking for good luck. 3. Eating hot dog buns is prohibited, except on Friday, when it’s compulsory. 4. When you’re stuck in a rut, you must speak in tongues, handle snakes, and experience phantasmagoria. 5. Your guardian angel loves you better when your room is a mess. 6. Bowling alleys are sacred; you must protect them from desecration. 7. The Goddess will solve all your problems if you solve all hers.

SAGITTARIUS
In the Netherlands, people often give each other three kisses when they meet, two on the cheek and one on the lips. A Dutch prude named Dolph Kohnstamm is mad about it, and has launched a campaign to squash the custom. "Foreigners are quite upset when they have to give three kisses," he rants, "especially when the third kiss is on the mouth." In solidarity with naturally affectionate Dutch people, and in response to the lovey-dovey astrological omens now coming to bear on you Sagittarians, I request that you dole out scores of triple kisses in the coming week.

+ A common obstruction to a vital intimate relationship with another human being is what I call the assumption of clairvoyance. You imagine, perhaps unconsciously, that your partner or friend is somehow magically psychic when it comes to you—so much so that he or she should unfailingly intuit exactly what you need, even if you don’t ask for it. This fantasy may seem romantic, but it can single-handedly sink the most promising alliances. To counteract any tendencies you might have to indulge in the assumption of clairvoyance, practice stating your desires aloud.

PISCES
It's a hang-your-head-out-the-window-of-a-speeding-car-like-a-golden-retriever kind of week. You should make yourself as innocent and unselfconscious as possible as you seek out simple, intense pleasures, whether that's letting the wind rush over your face or soaking up the spray of a waterfall or getting a massage every single day or standing near the stage at a live concert so the raw music can surge through you. The object is to scour out your mind with vivid sensations, allowing you to become as empty and fresh as possible.

+ Write the following on a piece of red paper and keep it under your pillow. "I, [put your name here], do solemnly swear on this day [put date here] that I will devote myself for a period of seven days to learning my most important desire. No other thought will be more uppermost in my mind. No other concern will divert me from tracking down every clue that might assist me in my drive to ascertain the one experience in this world that deserves my brilliant passion above all others."